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Walking on Broken Glass

You Might Die Trying

Shellybean

Caress
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Shellybean
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March 6th, 2010

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Charmed
Let me show you what I'm made of
Good intentions are not enough
To get me though today and this life.
You're in the basement watching the tv,
I'm on the second floor watching the ceiling.
We sleep underneath the same big sky at night.
I dream the same dream we can fly
You can run from me
You can hide form me
But I am right beside you
In this life.
Let me tell you who you really are
You're my comfort
You're not a superstar
I can reach up and bring you back down to the ground
And give you everything you dream about
You can run from me
You can hide from me
But I am right beside you
In this life.
I'll give you all the things that I never get
Give you all I have and have no regret
Take you to the places that I've never been
Forgive you all the things that you cant forget
Take away the pain with my healing hands
Wash away your sins and set your spirit free
You can run from me
You can hide from me
But I am right beside you
In this life.
Let me show you what I'm made of

November 26th, 2009

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Caress
Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

In May I stole toyscoutemily's purse (-30 points). In August I farted in an elevator (-6 points). In July I ruled Iran as a cruel and heartless dictator (-700 points). In February I didn't flush (-1 points). Last Monday I put money in leotheseadragon's expired parking meter (14 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-723 points). For Christmas I deserve a moldy sandwich!

Sincerely,
midnightlies

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March 2nd, 2009

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Caress
i make a clicking noise and she bounds over to me.
right now.. shes purring and sleeping on my foot. *laughs*
shes so what i needed at this point.
we had a friend over yesterday and she thinks she was abused.
shes too jumpy, even for a cat.
and i look at her and think 'how the hell can someone abuse her??? shes absolutely gorgeous'
*sigh* i don't understand people. i really don't.
but she seems to really be adjusting.
and im happy and grateful for that.
im calling the cat optomologist tomorrow. cross your fingers that whatever she needs won't be horribly expensive.

*snickers* shes a playful smart runt too.
shes getting to see when we take her meds out of the fridge - so she starts running around in an effort to play so that she can delay it.
shes too smart for her own good ^_^

December 29th, 2008

(no subject)

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Crying Angel
im really not doing very well without a job. im depressed.. but at least its not the destructive depression. its the sit around and sleep and be exhausted and be boring type. i went to bed at 5am today. woke up around 2pm. watched movies/random TV for a few hours and then passed out in the chair for another few hours. im about to go to bed soon too. the other thing is.. where is everyone? nobody is writing.. even im not really writing as many meaningful entries. i miss my nitch of online community. i miss waiting for 'that diary site' to get on.. so i could have a safe space to write and begin to build a community again. but then, i wonder if that dream died for a reason - maybe we'll never get that feeling of community and support back again. maybe all of that really is all in the past. maybe im holding on to a ghost.

November 11th, 2008

Barack Obama thoughts

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Peaceful Me


... and the affect that he will (hopefully) have on the black community.

So first - before anyone says anything.. I am a black female. These are my perceptions, my experiences, my observations - I am NOT just speaking from my ass here.

So.. story time.
A few years ago, I was riding the bus in Seattle, WA. I observed an older black man (maybe 50s??) yelling and basically causing a disturbance on the bus. He was whooping and hollering about how white people suck. How white people keep the black person down. How we can never have anything because the white people are still racist assholes and nothing has changed.

I sat there in silence because I was ashamed.
I was ashamed that, there were white people on the bus who were staring at this man and sadly because of the colour of my skin in some way or another.. that ignorant man and myself were connected.
I am ashamed because.. this is not the first time I've heard such nonscense from the black community - and sometimes its from people much, much younger than that man.

But I digress.. I see this election as finally shutting those people up. Now there is a person of colour in office. A respected, educated person of colour who will be recognised as the leader of the USA.

That is fabulous!. Maybe.. instead of young black kids looking to people who are in jail, looking to people who are drug dealers as role models and thinking "thats all I can ever be.." can look instead at the President of the United States and say "hey.. I can do that if he can".

Maybe the part of the black community who continually blames the white man for the downfall of their own lives can look and see that their failure is no one else's except their own.

And maybe they'll seek to change it. Maybe it will give them hope that they can change their life. 

This is not to say however, that racism does not exist. This is not to say that a percentage of people who are voicing about how such and such white person did something isn't true. It IS true. It DOES still happen.
And electing Barack as the new president does not eliminate racism.
I'm not that deluded.
But it's a step in the right direction for people who refuse to take responsibility for their own lives and decide to blame everyone else (especially using racism) for the direction their lives have taken.

So, rethink your vote. Scrutinise yourself and ask yourself WHY you voted him for president. Did you do it based on his principles as a man? As a politician? Did you listen to his plans for this country?

Or did you elect him because he was black.
If you look at yourself honestly and see that you voted for Barack because he was black.. then you are still contributing to the racism in this country.

And I am ashamed.
So should you.

September 4th, 2008

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Caress


Dear Mallory,

I want to address a few issues here that I've talked to some people about and thought about as well.

"I hate that it's all people want from me."

I don't know if I'm included in there, but I'm assuming I am.
I find it interesting that all you think I want from you is money.
Yes, obviously I do want money from you. I'm not your parents, I'm your girlfriend.. and you're not allowed to stay here for free.

Do you know why I was so happy you got a job as a Receptionist? Because I thought it was the start for you. The start for you to finally get into a decent job, the start for you to finally be able to support yourself and make it on your own. I was happy because you could get out on time and make it to school.

The reason why I want you to get a job and a decent one at work is for YOU. It's so that YOU can survive. It's so that if we decide to part ways, you're not living on the street somewhere hoping that somebody will take you in. It's so YOU can be self sufficient and stand on your own two feet.

Honestly.. that's all I want for you. That's all I've ever wanted for you - so that you will never, ever have to depend on someone else for something that you need or want ever again.

I learned that. The hard way a few years ago. And its why now I'm so reluctant to allow help from others now because I'm still getting used to the fact that I don't need anyone else to do shit for me.

That is the feeling I want from you. And I want it so badly for you because you are where I used to be.

As for the resumes... you have to understand. I am in recruiting. My job is to find people jobs.

It's not logical for me for someone to go out and physically hand someone else a resume. I've never done it, and have no experience of what the hire rate is of people who do it.

When people try to send me paper resumes (even when I first started this) I scoffed at them, as did other people. We don't want resumes in our hands, we want them in our email boxes. At least.. in my experience.

I honestly kept forgetting mostly because in my mind it wasn't important.
I don't know anyone that goes around giving out resumes anymore and finds success.

Am I all knowing? No. But I'm going from my experiences and what I've seen in this HR world I've been in for years and I'm going by how I've gotten jobs.
Do you know why I'm mad all the time?
It's because yes, because I have no help with rent, and cable and electricity.

But its also because I want you to better yourself and its not happening.

You dwell on the past. I know your history. I understand it. You've told it to me a million times. Think about how many times you tell me stories about how hard you've had it. Think of if I today still was talking about how destroyed and how unable I am to love still because of Brian and Jasmin.

It's not conducive to the healing process and it helps no one and it actually hinders you to keep talking about how the past has affected you.

But does it matter now? No. It doesn't. It doesn't matter now because now is the present, and you can't change the past.

now you have the help. As I told you before in one of the entries.. I'm here to help you. I'm willing to do so.
But you focus so much on how you've had NO help that you seem to completely forget about the help you have RIGHT now.

and i don't understand that.
 
And then, and only then when you yourself can stand on your own two feet can we ever move forward.

I want a partner that is an equal. That can stand on her own, as well as stand with me.

I want someone that if I left.. I knew KNEW that they would be just fine without me.
Can you say that about yourself right now?

I want a partner that I can have on the lease with me. I want a partner who can split things with me 50/50 because thats exactly what a partnership is.

I want someone that I can trust to know that no matter what.. they understand and realise that all I want for that person is the best.

I want a person that can rise above the odds and say "Fuck it, I will" when nobody else believes that they can make it.

I want a person that believes in themselves. I want a person that has an attitude of I CAN.

That is what I want Mallory. And that is what I want from you.

Sincerely,

Michelle

September 1st, 2008

(no subject)

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Caress

Your result for The Perception Personality Image Test...

NBPC - The Daydreamer


You perceive the world with particular attention to nature. You focus on the hidden treasures of life (the background) and how that fits into the larger picture. You are also particularly drawn towards the colors around you. Because of the value you place on nature, you tend to find comfort in more subdued settings and find energy in solitude. You like to ponder ideas and imagine the many possibilities of your life without worrying about the details or specifics. You are in tune with all that is around you and understand your life as part of a larger whole. You are a down-to-earth person who enjoys going with the flow.








The Perception Personality Types:


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Take The Perception Personality Image Test at HelloQuizzy

August 28th, 2008

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Caress
reasons to love recruiting:

i can be depressed as all hell. exhausted and to the point of quitting right on the spot.
but then i talk to this one candidate - who is just so absolutely adorable.

and it makes me smile.

sometimes i wonder why i keep doing this.
and i find someone to remind me why.

thank you for giving me the little bit that i needed to finish the day today.
its appreciated.

August 12th, 2008

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Happy Bunny
*growls*
I swear sometimes these people at my job think I'm a fucking moron.
Yes, I know what I'm doing. Yes, I have a freaking clue.
Maybe you should just trust that I actually have an idea of whats going on and fucking LISTEN.
There's a reason I came to you first. Duh.

...........
so applying to the amazon job. 

Pray that I at least get an interview.

July 30th, 2008

Sheep

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Charmed
Comment and I'll...

1. Tell you why I friended you.

2. Associate you with something - random, a song, a colour, a photo, etc.

3. Tell you something I like about you.

4. Tell you a memory I have of you.

5. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.

6. Tell you my favorite user pic of yours.

7. In return, you must post this in your LJ - or not, as you will.
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